I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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