White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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