i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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