so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
