Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
