Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
