John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
