you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
