I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
