There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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