apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
