Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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