so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize