While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
