And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize