dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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