I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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