Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
