He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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