is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
