I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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