From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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