Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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