I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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