This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize