I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
