Small penises have feelings too.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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