I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
