i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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