Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize