I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize