Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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