Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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