he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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