Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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