is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
