My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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