what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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