I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
