Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
