Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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