dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
