He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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