i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
