Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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