Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
