I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
