You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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