Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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