# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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