I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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