Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
