escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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