I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Someone signed my nipple.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
