my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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