I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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