so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
