9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
