i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
