I accidentally burped into my bong.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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