I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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