I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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