Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize