Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
