I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
