CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
