At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
