dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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