he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
