Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
