He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
