Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
