What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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