just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is the high leading the old right now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize