im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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