and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
