Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
