I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize