What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
