Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
