i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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