Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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