i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
