just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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