Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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