he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
