at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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