Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
