his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize