you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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