At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
