i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
