Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
